Amy T. Schalet
- Published in print:
- 2011
- Published Online:
- September 2013
- ISBN:
- 9780226736181
- eISBN:
- 9780226736204
- Item type:
- chapter
- Publisher:
- University of Chicago Press
- DOI:
- 10.7208/chicago/9780226736204.003.0006
- Subject:
- Sociology, Marriage and the Family
This chapter shows that in spite of parent-teenager tensions, sexuality becomes a vehicle through which young people are encouraged to develop a psychology of incorporation rather than separation. ...
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This chapter shows that in spite of parent-teenager tensions, sexuality becomes a vehicle through which young people are encouraged to develop a psychology of incorporation rather than separation. Boys are encouraged to make their sexuality gezellig—to value the integration of sexual and domestic pleasures and to choose partners who can be treated as temporary family members. Girls are encouraged to make their sexuality normal—to avoid causing unnecessary disturbances by springing a sexual relationship, let alone a pregnancy, on their parents prematurely or out of the blue, and to be able to discuss emotional issues without letting discomfort get the better of them. While it is striking how similarly Dutch boys and girls are treated, it is also notable that negotiations around the sleepover are more prolonged and tension-ridden for girls than for boys.Less
This chapter shows that in spite of parent-teenager tensions, sexuality becomes a vehicle through which young people are encouraged to develop a psychology of incorporation rather than separation. Boys are encouraged to make their sexuality gezellig—to value the integration of sexual and domestic pleasures and to choose partners who can be treated as temporary family members. Girls are encouraged to make their sexuality normal—to avoid causing unnecessary disturbances by springing a sexual relationship, let alone a pregnancy, on their parents prematurely or out of the blue, and to be able to discuss emotional issues without letting discomfort get the better of them. While it is striking how similarly Dutch boys and girls are treated, it is also notable that negotiations around the sleepover are more prolonged and tension-ridden for girls than for boys.
